by Christopher Moore
What do you do when you’re a freshly made vampire with no guidance? You find yourself a roommate/boyfriend who can do things during the day like pick up your last paycheck and get your car out of the impound lot. The living situation isn’t so simple, though, because the roommate/boyfriend is also the night manager at the local grocery store. That kind of defeats the point of the arrangement. He, Tommy, is simultaneously fascinated and terrified by your condition and borrows every vampire book he can find from the library because he wants to test which of the myths are real and which are just made up.
These are some of the day to day (or night to night, rather) trials and tribulations for newly undead Jody. Most of these things are manageable, but she does run into a few problems here and there. First, there’s a creepy homeless guy who keeps following her around and second, the police start noticing a pattern with Jody and Tommy and a few dead bodies that are a little short on blood. The police don’t believe in vampires, though, and Tommy’s going to have some difficulty explaining why he stuffed his lifeless girlfriend in a freezer along with another dead homeless guy.
Not all of their problems revolve around avoiding the cops or creepy dudes who lurk in the shadows. Tommy and Jody also have everyday relationship issues as well. Maybe Tommy would rather date the new checkout girl at the supermarket. She does have the distinct advantage of being alive and having a less restrictive sleep schedule. And maybe Jody would prefer to find somebody who isn’t going to get all old and wrinkly in a few short decades. They’ll get around to sorting that stuff out, I’m sure, but in the mean time there’s work to be done. One of Tommy’s crew at the supermarket just smashed up the meat display case while skiing behind the floor waxer.
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