Holidays on Ice

by David Sedaris

The winter holidays are upon us and one of my favorite winter reads is Holidays on Ice, a collection of holiday-themed short stories and personal recollections. The first story, “SantaLand Diaries,” is a tale about David’s life as a full-time elf at Macy’s department store. The elves have many different duties, some worse than others. David recounts an experience as a Cash Register Elf, “The worst part is that after I have accumulated three hundred dollars I have to remove two hundred, fill out half a dozen forms, and run the envelope of cash to the drop in the China Department or to the vault on the balcony above the first floor. I am not allowed to change my clothes beforehand. I have to go dressed as an elf. An elf in SantaLand is one thing, an elf in Sportswear is something else altogether.”

Sedaris’ humor is usually pretty dry, but in “Season’s Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!,” the author delves into the absurd as he spins the tale of Dunbar family and their annual family newsletter. One might think that Mrs. Dunbar would forego the tradition this year in light of her upcoming court date resulting from the death of her unexpected grandchild, Satan (Don), at the absentminded hands of her really unexpected new, 22-year-old Vietnamese daughter, Khe Sahn. But, no! The holidays must go on! Mrs. Jocelyn Dunbar won’t let a few “hassles” dampen her spirits.

The holiday humor doesn’t stop there, though. Sedaris also strings together tales of inappropriate, yet fascinating, dinner guests and scathing theatre reviews of elementary school Christmas pageants. In “Christmas Means Giving” the author explores the rivalry between neighboring families, each trying to out-do the other with exuberant giving. “If practiced correctly,” Sedaris writes, “generosity can induce feelings of shame, inadequacy, and even envy, to name just a few.” That certainly captures the spirit of the season!

So if you’re looking for something a bit different to read this holiday season; a little less “Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer” and little more “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” then check out Holidays on Ice from the LFHS library! And if you like it, we have more Sedaris books for you to read.